What Ohio must change so this never happens to another child
My divorce decree says that whichever parent is the residential parent, "each party shall have equal access to all school, health, or agency records or reports; the children's daycare center; and the children's student activities." Rushwood had that decree in its own file. In September 2025 the school and its district still went by their "understanding" that my time with my Younger Son was supervised, the district's security officer, Officer Nickel, turned me away, and the district wrote to me that it "will not engage in further discussion." These are the changes I am asking for.
What the law says now
- R.C. 3109.051(H): records. A parent who is not the residential parent "is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions under which access is provided to the residential parent, to any record that is related to the child," unless the court finds that would not be in the child's best interest. "Record" includes "Records maintained by public and nonpublic schools." A records keeper who knowingly fails to comply "is in contempt of court."
- R.C. 3109.051(J): school activities. The same equal access applies to "any student activity," and it binds "all school officials and employees." Knowing non-compliance is contempt.
- R.C. 3319.321(B)(5)(a): public schools. A parent who is not the residential parent, "upon request, shall be permitted access to any records or information concerning the student under the same terms and conditions" as the residential parent. Rushwood is a public school.
- FERPA, 34 CFR 99.4. A school that receives U.S. Department of Education funds must give full rights to either parent unless it has a court order, statute or legally binding document that specifically revokes them.
Changes needed
- Schools must read the newest order, not the oldest one a parent hands them. When a school has more than one custody order in its file, it should go by the latest one, and say in writing which order and which page it is relying on.
- A school is not the judge of whether a parent has "completed" a court's conditions. If the school is unsure, it should ask both parents' attorneys or the court in writing, and keep treating both parents equally on records and activities while it waits.
- No security officer at the front door over a paperwork question. Before sending an officer to a parent who is asking to have lunch with her child, the school should check its own file and give the parent the specific order or policy in writing.
- Both parents on every list from the first day of school. The parent who is not the residential parent should be on the district's messaging app, the teacher's email list and the report-card mailing without having to ask, and should be told the child's teacher and classroom when the other parent is.
- Enforcement a parent can use. Contempt under R.C. 3109.051 means going back to court and paying a lawyer. The Ohio Department of Education and Workforce should take written complaints about records and activity access from parents and answer them.
What Senate Bill 174 should add
Senate Bill 174 of the 136th General Assembly passed the Senate on November 12, 2025, and is in the House Judiciary Committee. It is not law yet. According to the Legislative Service Commission analysis, it "recodifies but mostly maintains current law regarding access to a child's records and student activities," removes the distinction between residential and nonresidential parents, and extends access to legal custodians. That is a good change. It should also require a school that has a parent's custody order to say in writing which part of which order it relies on before it limits that parent at school, and to answer that parent's written requests within a set number of days.
What happened
Rushwood Elementary is my sons' public school. My Older Son started kindergarten there in August 2018. My Younger Son started kindergarten there in August 2023 and is in third grade there now. In December 2023 the principal wrote to me about my lunch visits with him: "I am not going to tell you that you cannot do this." On September 4, 2025, the school would not let me have lunch with him. The principal argued with me about what my decree meant, told me "just because it's ordered doesn't mean it's been fulfilled," and went by my ex-husband's word: "on his end, he said nothing has changed." The next day the district's security officer, Officer Nickel, badge 16, told me I could not come in "until you get an updated court [order]" and that I needed to leave. On September 8, 2025, the district wrote that I was "not permitted to visit with your child" during school hours because "It is the District's understanding that your parenting time with your child is supervised." Rushwood's own file, which it gave my attorneys under subpoena, holds my July 2024 decree, with its promise of equal access to school records and student activities "Regardless of whether such parent is designated as Residential Parent or Non-Residential Parent." In 2026 I still had to ask, weeks into the school year, who my Younger Son's teacher was. The school answered that request the same day, and it has sent me his report cards.
Who they are
Rushwood Elementary is a public elementary school in Northfield, Ohio, in the Nordonia Hills City School District (subpoena to Rushwood Elementary School, 2026). The people in this story are its principal, Dr. Jacqueline O'Mara; its administrative assistant, Patti Belli; Ashley Turner, who answered for the school office; my Younger Son's 2026 teacher, Kelly Boebel; and the district's Director of Educational Services, Shon D. Smith, Ed.D.
1. August 2018 to spring 2021: my Older Son's school
I took my Older Son to Rushwood's kindergarten information night on August 16, 2018, and his first day there was August 23, 2018 (my timeline notes, 8/16/18 and 8/23/18). He stayed through second grade. The court's own order of June 8, 2022 says he "previously attended Rushwood Elementary, but began attending St. Barnabus in September 2021" (order of June 8, 2022, p. 8). A neighbor who was "a fellow parent at Rushwood elementary" wrote on August 24, 2023 that he recalled "seeing [me] driving with her children to and from Rushwood elementary and in the student drop off an pick-up line on a daily basis during the school year in the past" (neighbor's letter, 8/24/23).
2. The orders, in order
- June 8, 2022. The court made my ex-husband the temporary residential parent and ordered: "Wife shall have parenting time, supervised, at Place of Peace or a similar facility" (order of June 8, 2022, pp. 27–28).
- January 24, 2023. Interim orders ended that. "Mother shall have visitation with the children ... every Wednesday from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., and every other weekend from Friday at 6:00 p.m. to Sunday at 6:00 p.m." Nothing in them says supervised (interim orders, 1/24/23, p. 2).
- July 17, 2024. My divorce decree was journalized. Its parenting schedule starts my time out supervised at Common Ground Family Services, and says that once I met its conditions and gave my ex-husband a positive report from Common Ground covering at least ten visits, "Mother's parenting time need no longer be supervised" (Decree of Divorce, journalized July 17, 2024, Visitation Schedule §§A–B). Its school paragraph has no conditions: "Regardless of whether such parent is designated as Residential Parent or Non-Residential Parent, each party shall have equal access to all school, health, or agency records or reports; the children's daycare center; and the children's student activities. Each parent is responsible for obtaining records directly from the provider." (same, Visitation Schedule §D)
- March 5, 2025. My attorneys filed a motion to modify the allocation of parental rights and a motion for contempt (court docket, 3/5/25).
Rushwood had all three orders. When it answered my attorneys' subpoenas in 2026, its file for my Younger Son held the June 2022 order, the January 2023 interim orders and the July 2024 decree (Rushwood's subpoena response, sent to me by my attorneys 10/12/26). The copy of the 2023 interim orders still has the cover letter my ex-husband's attorney sent him on January 25, 2023 (same).
3. August 2023: he enrolled him, and brought in the old order
On August 14, 2023 my ex-husband filled out Rushwood's parent information form for my Younger Son's kindergarten year. He checked "Residential Parent" for himself and "Non-Residential Parent" for me, and gave my email address (parent/guardian information form, 8/14/23, in Rushwood's file).
Four days later, at 9:35 AM on August 18, 2023, I emailed the guardian ad litem, James Phillips: "[My ex-husband] brought the old order in to Rushwood from a year ago and told them [my Younger Son] is only allowed supervised visitation with me." He answered at 9:42 AM: "I will confirm with school about this issue and get back to you." (emails, 8/18/23) At 10:50 AM I emailed the principal the current order and wrote: "Nowhere in this order does it state I need supervision with my sons." (email to Dr. O'Mara, 8/18/23 10:50 AM)
4. December 12, 2023: "I am not going to tell you that you cannot do this"
That fall I had lunch with my Younger Son at school. On December 12, 2023 at 12:30 PM the principal wrote to me: "While we do not have a set number of times a parent/guardian can come to have lunch with their child, I have noticed that your visits are almost daily. I am not going to tell you that you cannot do this." She recommended that I "consider limiting the number of days per week." At 1:44 PM she wrote again: "You can decide when to visit." (Dr. O'Mara to me, 12/12/23 12:30 PM and 1:44 PM) In 2023 the school treated lunch with a parent as something parents do.
5. September 4, 2025: the principal argued with me about my order, on my ex-husband's word
Rushwood's own 2024-2025 handbook says, "You are welcome to have lunch with your child" (Elementary School Handbook 2024-2025, "School Visitation"). On Thursday, September 4, 2025, I came to have lunch with my Younger Son. I recorded what happened, starting at 11:17 AM. I told the school, "As of January, there is no more supervision," and was told, "You can wait here until I can get it and take a look at it." I waited outside "while they look through my divorce decree." (my recording, 9/4/25, starting 11:17 AM, at 5:49, 6:26 and 17:23)
The district's security officer was there too. Then the principal, Dr. O'Mara, argued with me about what my decree meant. She did not go by the order. She went by what my ex-husband told her:
- "I'm here to try to get clarification of what this document really means to us because on his end, he said nothing has changed." (my recording, 9/4/25, starting 11:17 AM, at 29:05)
- "Well, just because it's ordered doesn't mean it's been fulfilled." "We don't have proof that it was completed." (same, at 20:25)
- "We don't have any verification." (same, at 21:01)
- "The word may and shall are different." (same, at 25:08) "It says may be modified in the future. ... That's modification of parenting time. Every other weekend parenting time. That's different than unsupervised visits. Do you understand that?" (same, at 26:20)
- "Because we don't know that this is over. Because something could have happened in between this that we don't know about." (same, at 26:42)
- "It's not my responsibility to go to the docket. It's your responsibility and his responsibility to provide us with the most current and accurate information." (same, at 26:50) I answered, "This is the most current and accurate information," and she said, "How do we know that you did that?" (same, at 26:59)
- "What we need is for you to prove to us what is right." (same, at 29:11)
Then Dr. O'Mara told me no: "So basically, for today, it's not gonna happen" (same, at 25:29), "It's not gonna happen today" (same, at 27:18), and "we're not going to go through this over and over so you're gonna have to leave now" (same, at 27:36). She added, "get with your attorney and have your attorney give us something that says that you have cleared everything" (same, at 27:44).
Staff also told me to email the order so they could print it. At 11:24 AM I emailed my decree to Patti Belli (email, 9/4/25 11:24 AM). At 12:01 PM I wrote to her: "Rushwood must follow court orders, not one parent's interpretation," and "it is my right as [my Younger Son]'s parent to sit with him at lunch and participate in his school life" (email, 9/4/25 12:01 PM). She forwarded it to the principal at 12:14 PM. At 2:11 PM the principal answered: "Thank you for this information, Careyann. Legal has been advised and is working with us to get clarification." (Dr. O'Mara to me, 9/4/25 2:11 PM)
6. September 5, 2025: the district's security officer would not let me stay
I went back the next day for lunch. My recording starts at 11:25 AM. The district's security officer met me. He gave his name as "Officer Nickel" and his badge as "Badge number 16" (my recording, 9/5/25, starting 11:25 AM, at 8:41 and 8:47). He told me the order "from last year" said I could not be there: "Which stated that you cannot come here." (my recording, 9/5/25, starting 11:25 AM, at 8:02) The order from last year is my July 2024 decree, and it says nothing of the kind. Then he said: "Well, you can't come in until you get an updated court [order]" (same, at 8:11), and "you need to leave, okay?" (same, at 8:35). I told him, "It says I'm no longer under supervision." I left. At 11:44 AM I asked the school in writing for "The specific court order, statute, or board policy you are relying upon to justify barring me from school property" (email to Patti Belli, 9/5/25 11:44 AM).
7. September 8 and 10, 2025: the district's two letters
On September 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM the district's Director of Educational Services, Shon D. Smith, emailed me a letter headed "School Day Visitation," copied to the principal and my son's "student cumulative file" (Dr. Smith to me, 9/8/25 4:00 PM, with letter):
"This letter is to inform you that you are not permitted to visit with your child at Nordonia Hills City School District ('District') buildings during school hours. ... It is the District's understanding that your parenting time with your child is supervised. The District is not a supervised visitation center. The District also is not responsible for interpreting your progress toward increasing your visitation rights. The District will not engage in further discussion regarding whether your visitation rights should be increased under the existing court orders. Please be advised that the District will comply with any updated court orders it receives."
The letter does not name the order it relied on. It says nothing about the decree's equal-access paragraph.
On September 10, 2025 at 12:26 PM he sent a second letter, "School Visitors Policy," answering my September 5 email and copied to the principal. It quotes Board Policy 9.02: "The principal shall have complete authority to exclude from the school premises any persons who he or she has reason to believe are disruptive ... If the person refuses to leave, the principal may summon assistance from the appropriate law enforcement agency." Then: "Using the Nordonia Hills City School District as the location for visitation with your child is disruptive to the District's educational programs. Furthermore, the custody orders the District has received do not provide you with parenting time during the school day." (Dr. Smith to me, 9/10/25 12:26 PM, with letter)
At 12:49 PM I wrote back: "I am not seeking to use the school as a 'visitation center,' but to exercise the same parental lunch privilege extended to all parents," and "there has been no incident, evidence, or finding of disruption on my part." (email to Dr. Smith, 9/10/25 12:49 PM) I have found no reply from the district to that email.
8. 2026: asking for the basics
- February 2, 2026, 4:31 PM. Patti Belli emailed me my Younger Son's first-semester report card (email, 2/2/26).
- April 21, 2026, 9:36 AM. I had asked why my Younger Son was out of school on Friday, April 17. Ashley Turner answered: "Legal guardians who are authorized to pick up their child are not required to provide a specific reason for early dismissal ... We have no further information to provide you." (Ashley Turner to me, 4/21/26 9:36 AM)
- September 3, 2026, 3:46 PM. I wrote to Patti Belli that, "Several weeks into the school year, I had not even been informed whether [my Younger Son] was attending Rushwood this year, who his teacher was, what classroom he was assigned to, or how I could receive communications from his teacher and the school." I wrote that when I called, she told me, "I'm sorry if I made a mistake, I sent you his report card in the mail. We do not send duplicates of reports." I quoted the decree's equal-access paragraph word for word (email to Patti Belli, 9/3/26 3:46 PM).
- September 3, 2026, 4:16 PM. Ashley Turner sent me his teacher's name and email and wrote: "I can confirm that your email is in the system and you are copied on correspondence for mailing such as report cards. We will check that you are in the system for ParentSquare the district communication tool." (Ashley Turner to me, 9/3/26 4:16 PM)
- September 4, 2026, 10:47 AM. His teacher wrote that most of her messages go through ParentSquare and "I see that you are NOT linked to [my Younger Son]'s information in ParentSquare." (Kelly Boebel to me, 9/4/26 10:47 AM, in Rushwood's file) At 11:39 AM I told the office the app was not recognizing my email (email to Ashley Turner, 9/4/26 11:39 AM).
- October 9, 2026, 3:05 PM. Answering my attorneys' subpoena, Patti Belli wrote: "Mother and father both have access to the district's communication tool, Parent Square, as of 9/12/26." (Patti Belli to my attorneys' office, 10/9/26 3:05 PM)
9. What I believe
Rushwood had three orders in its file. The oldest one said supervised. Neither newer one says anything about keeping me out of school, and the newest says I have equal access to my son's school records and student activities whatever my designation. The school treated me as supervised anyway, the way the old order I was told my ex-husband brought in said. When I came for lunch, the principal argued with me about my own decree, told me it was not her job to check the docket, and went by my ex-husband's word that "nothing has changed." The next day the district's security officer, Officer Nickel, would not let me stay. The district then wrote that its "understanding" was that I was supervised, without saying which order it meant, and that it "will not engage in further discussion." I have found no order that tells Rushwood to keep me away from my son at school.
Lunch is a student activity, and Rushwood opens it to every parent. My decree gives me "equal access to ... the children's student activities," "Regardless of whether such parent is designated as Residential Parent or Non-Residential Parent" (Decree of Divorce, Visitation Schedule §D). Lunch with my son is one of them. Rushwood's handbook says, "Parents and children accompanied by their parents are always welcome to visit during the school day!" and "You are welcome to have lunch with your child but cannot go outside or to the classroom during recess" (Elementary School Handbook 2024-2025, "School Visitation"). The district's own lunch notice for 2024-25 says, "Parents are welcome to join their child for lunch when possible" (Nordonia Hills City Schools, "Lunchroom Reminders"). The principal herself wrote to me in 2023, "we do not have a set number of times a parent/guardian can come to have lunch with their child." The district's position, in its September 10, 2025 letter, is that "the custody orders the District has received do not provide you with parenting time during the school day." Lunch with my son is not a parenting-time schedule. It is the same lunch every other Rushwood parent is welcome to.
To be fair: the July 2024 decree does start my parenting time out supervised, and it ends supervision after conditions that include a report to my ex-husband. I did what it required, and my attorneys filed motions about it in March 2025; that is still before the court. But the school did not need to decide any of that to treat me the same as every other parent at lunch, as it did in 2023, or to keep me on its lists and tell me who my son's teacher was.
What the school did do
The record shows this too. In December 2023 the principal wrote that she was "not going to tell you that you cannot do this," and "You can decide when to visit." On April 10, 2025 at 1:32 PM she emailed me because a report card mailed to me had come back, and asked for my current address (Dr. O'Mara to me, 4/10/25). Patti Belli emailed me his final report card on June 9, 2025 at 9:34 AM ("Have a great summer.") and his first-semester report card on February 2, 2026. On September 4, 2025 the principal told me the same afternoon that "Legal has been advised." On May 7, 2026 at 4:57 PM Ashley Turner wrote to me: "The 2nd grade concert starts at 7pm. I do believe [my Younger Son] will be performing. It is here in Rushwood's gymnasium." (Ashley Turner to me, 5/7/26) And on September 3, 2026 the office answered my written request in 30 minutes; by September 12, 2026 I was on ParentSquare.
Emails and records, in order
| Date (ET) | From → to | What it says |
|---|---|---|
| 8/16/18 | My timeline notes | My Older Son's kindergarten information night at Rushwood. |
| 8/23/18 | My timeline notes | His first day at Rushwood. |
| 6/8/22 | Court order | My ex-husband temporary residential parent; "Wife shall have parenting time, supervised, at Place of Peace or a similar facility." My Older Son "previously attended Rushwood Elementary, but began attending St. Barnabus in September 2021." |
| 1/24/23 | Interim orders | Wednesdays 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. and every other weekend, Friday 6:00 p.m. to Sunday 6:00 p.m. No supervision stated. |
| 8/14/23 | My ex-husband → Rushwood (form in the school's file) | Parent information form for kindergarten: him "Residential Parent," me "Non-Residential Parent," with my email. |
| 8/18/23 9:35 AM | Me → guardian ad litem James Phillips (email) | "[My ex-husband] brought the old order in to Rushwood from a year ago and told them [my Younger Son] is only allowed supervised visitation with me." |
| 8/18/23 9:42 AM | James Phillips → me (email) | "I will confirm with school about this issue and get back to you." |
| 8/18/23 9:43 AM | Me → Dr. O'Mara | A link to the current order on the clerk's site. |
| 8/18/23 10:50 AM | Me → Dr. O'Mara | The current order attached: "Nowhere in this order does it state I need supervision with my sons." |
| 8/24/23 | A neighbor and Rushwood parent (letter) | Recalls me "in the student drop off an pick-up line on a daily basis during the school year in the past." |
| 12/12/23 12:30 PM | Dr. O'Mara → me | "I am not going to tell you that you cannot do this," while recommending fewer lunch visits per week. |
| 12/12/23 1:44 PM | Dr. O'Mara → me | "You can decide when to visit." |
| 7/17/24 | Decree of Divorce | §D: "Regardless of whether such parent is designated as Residential Parent or Non-Residential Parent, each party shall have equal access to all school, health, or agency records or reports ... and the children's student activities." |
| 2024–25 school year | Rushwood handbook and district lunch notice | "You are welcome to have lunch with your child." "Parents are welcome to join their child for lunch when possible." |
| 3/5/25 | My attorneys → court (docket) | Motion to modify the allocation of parental rights; motion for contempt. |
| 4/10/25 1:32 PM | Dr. O'Mara → me | A report card mailed to me came back; she asked for my current address. |
| 6/9/25 9:34 AM | Patti Belli → me | Final report card. "Have a great summer." |
| 7/7/25 | My attorneys (docket) | Subpoena to Rushwood Elementary filed. |
| 9/4/25, recording starting 11:17 AM (at 20:25–29:11) | Dr. O'Mara → me (my recording; the district's security officer present) | "just because it's ordered doesn't mean it's been fulfilled." "It's not my responsibility to go to the docket." "on his end, he said nothing has changed." "What we need is for you to prove to us what is right." |
| 9/4/25, recording starting 11:17 AM (at 25:29–27:36) | Dr. O'Mara → me (my recording) | "So basically, for today, it's not gonna happen." "you're gonna have to leave now." |
| 9/4/25 11:24 AM | Me → Patti Belli | My divorce decree, attached. |
| 9/4/25 12:01 PM | Me → Patti Belli | "Rushwood must follow court orders, not one parent's interpretation." Forwarded to the principal at 12:14 PM. |
| 9/4/25 2:11 PM | Dr. O'Mara → me | "Legal has been advised and is working with us to get clarification." |
| 9/5/25, recording starting 11:25 AM (at 8:02–8:35) | Officer Nickel, badge 16, the district's security officer → me (my recording) | "Which stated that you cannot come here." "Well, you can't come in until you get an updated court [order]." "you need to leave, okay?" |
| 9/5/25 11:44 AM | Me → Patti Belli | Asked for "The specific court order, statute, or board policy you are relying upon." |
| 9/8/25 4:00 PM | Dr. Shon D. Smith → me (letter, cc principal and student file) | "you are not permitted to visit with your child ... during school hours." "It is the District's understanding that your parenting time with your child is supervised." |
| 9/10/25 12:26 PM | Dr. Shon D. Smith → me, cc Dr. O'Mara (letter) | Board Policy 9.02. "Using the Nordonia Hills City School District as the location for visitation with your child is disruptive." "the custody orders the District has received do not provide you with parenting time during the school day." |
| 9/10/25 12:49 PM | Me → Dr. Smith | "there has been no incident, evidence, or finding of disruption on my part." No reply found. |
| 2/2/26 4:31 PM | Patti Belli → me | First-semester report card. |
| 4/21/26 9:36 AM | Ashley Turner → me | "We have no further information to provide you." |
| 5/7/26 4:57 PM | Ashley Turner → me | "The 2nd grade concert starts at 7pm. I do believe [my Younger Son] will be performing." |
| 9/3/26 3:46 PM | Me → Patti Belli | "Several weeks into the school year, I had not even been informed ... who his teacher was." |
| 9/3/26 4:16 PM | Ashley Turner → me | His teacher's name and email; "your email is in the system." |
| 9/4/26 10:47 AM | Kelly Boebel → me | "I see that you are NOT linked to [my Younger Son]'s information in ParentSquare." |
| 9/4/26 11:39 AM | Me → Ashley Turner | The app is not recognizing my email. |
| 10/9/26 3:05 PM | Patti Belli → my attorneys' office | "Mother and father both have access to the district's communication tool, Parent Square, as of 9/12/26." |
| 10/12/26 | My attorneys → me | Rushwood's subpoena response: its file holds the 2022 order, the 2023 interim orders and the 2024 decree. |
The laws, in their own words
- Ohio Revised Code 3109.051: divisions (H) (records, including those of public schools) and (J) (student activities)
- Ohio Revised Code 3319.321: division (B)(5)(a) (records access for a parent who is not the residential parent)
- 34 CFR 99.4: rights of parents under FERPA
- Nordonia Hills Elementary School Handbook 2024-2025: "School Visitation" (parents welcome at lunch)
- S.B. 174, Legislative Service Commission analysis (as passed by the Senate): "Records and student activity"
Children's names, birthdates and addresses are left out of every quote, and so are the details of my sons' school records. Names inside quotes are replaced in brackets. Quotes from my recordings are from my own transcripts. Times are Eastern.